How To Have A Family Devotional Time

Over the past semester, I was in a class called Introduction to Family Leadership taught by Dr. Randy Stinson. This class was very beneficial for what it means to be a father and leading a family. Even though 1 Timothy 3 consists of characteristics for those who desire to be overseers, each Christian should aspire to these godly characteristics - especially the one concerning the father's management of his household.

1 Timothy 3:4 - He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,

Another passage that speaks to the father's management of his household is Deuteronomy 6:4-6:

⁴"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ⁵You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Since the Bible is clear that fathers are to manage their households and teach their family the Words of the Lord, how would a father go about doing this with his family? The answer: A Family Devotion Time.

Of course, you can call it what you want. A family devotion time can be formal or informal and go by many names. The Puritans called this time "family worship" while others simply call it a "faith talk," or "family devotional time." Now, don't worry...this is not an hour long "church" service. It can even be as short as fifteen minutes.

Here is my definition of a family devotional time: fathers (if available) leading, praying, and talking with their families about the Bible at least one time a week.

So what is there to talk about? Here are some examples for a formal family devotion. For some families, a family devotional time might be reading passages or chapters of the Bible after supper one night. For others, it might be going through a devotional guide each morning before everyone leaves for work or school. A third option would be discussing the pastor's sermon during Sunday lunch. This is it! It does not call father's to be seminary educated. But, it does mean that all fathers, as well as mothers, must be in God's Word daily.

Another format for family devotions include talking about the things of the Lord informally. Some call this format "God Sightings." In other words, this is talking about the Lord as "you are walking along the way," or simply, as you go throughout your week. This might look like watching the sun rise or set as a family and talking about God's magnificent creation. Or it might be singing hymns or worship songs while going to or from school and work. Also, this informal format could consist of walks/hikes in the park, or other outdoor excursions. The possibilities are endless!

Lastly...ALL PARENTS...please do not neglect the activities of prayer and study of God's Word. You have the ability to give something to your children that is priceless and worth more than anything in this world...the gospel of Jesus Christ! We all need the gospel to remind us of the good news that Jesus Christ came to save sinners - including us and our children! Please do not neglect this wonderful duty and privilege of being the primary discipler of your children.

Glorifying God in Our Marriages

In our present society and culture, times are tough and uncertain. Many people have found themselves unemployed and financially unstable. However, the truths concerning our marriages found within the pages of Scripture are reliable and serve a purpose for the basis of our marriages.

The truths can be found in Ephesians 5:22-33.

²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

In this section of Scripture, the Bible teaches us that women are to be submissive to their husbands and that husbands are to love their wives as they would love their own bodies, and as Christ loves His bride - the church. But, our relationships with others will never be right until our relationship with Christ is right. In other words, our vertical relationship with Christ effects our horizontal relationships with others. As Christians, we must first be seeking the Lord and making His will the priority of our lives. Once we are properly seeking the vertical relationship, we will glorify God in our horizontal relationships.

The focus on this post will be on our horizontal relationship with our spouse. Wives: are you properly submitting to the direction and authority of your husband by being lovingly obedient? Husbands: are you loving your wives by feeding them the Word and God, caring for them, and loving them as Christ loves the church?

To the wives:

1. This is how you can lovingly obey your husband...

a. By loving and encouraging your husband in his non-sinful pursuits/activities

b. You can love, encourage, and support him by giving input to your husband’s initiatives to give vision and direction to the family

c. You are to love your husband like Christ loves the church

d. Resist the impulse to undermine or complain about the leadership that your husband provides

2. This is what this passage does not mean...

a. That the husband is the boss and the wife is the servant

b. That the wife loses her sense of “identity"

c. That the wife is not included in the decision making process

d. For wives to obey their husbands in sinful requests,

e. That it is ok for the wife to be victimized by abuse.

3. It is appropriate for a wife to resist her husband’s authority when he…

a. Violates a biblical principle or command

b. Compromises your relationship to Christ

c. Violates your conscience

d. Compromises the care and protection of your children.

To the Husbands:

1. Here is what it looks like for godly men to care for their wives…

a. There is a cautious guard against tones and words that could wound his wife

b. There is an attempt to spend regular quality time with your wife and to consistently

make her feel precious and appreciated

c. Do not look at other women in an inappropriate way or desire them in your heart

d. To deny himself of the desire to relax when his wife needs to talk or needs help with the children

e. Men are to live with their wives in a loving, compassionate, and understanding way (1 Peter 3:7).

2. Here are a few ways in which a husband can lovingly lead his wife…

a. Lead, and not boss or rule

b. Resist the temptation to lead by being demanding or by trying to please yourself

c. Take the initiative in resolving conflicts in your marriage

d. Recognize your wife’s gifts and find ways to support her and give her the opportunity to express her gifts.

So, as Christians, are you loving and obeying your spouse as it is required by the Bible? First, you must be pursuing your vertical relationship with Christ. Second, rightly pursue your horizontal relationship with your spouse. May God be glorified in our marriages and in everything that we do (Col. 3:17; 1 Thess. 5:18) !

Knowing and Doing the Will of God - Part VI: Extrinsic Literature

Extrinsic literature believes that the will of God is no mystery. In other words, relying on the authority and supremacy of God’s Word can easily discover God’s Will. In his book, Decision Making and the Will of God, Garry Friesen lists four basic principles concerning Scripture’s teaching of God’s will. First, when it comes to areas specifically addressed by the Bible, the revealed commands of God are to be obeyed. Second, in the areas where the Bible gives no command, the believer is free and responsible to choose his own course of action. Third, in non-moral decisions, the objective of the Christian is to make wise decisions based on biblical principles. And fourth, in all decisions, the believer should humbly submit to God’s sovereign will as it concerns each decision.

According to Friesen, knowing and doing God’s will can be discovered by reading and following the Scripture’s guidelines concerning our goals, attitudes, and our means for achieving our objectives. Concerning goals, God gives His children specific commands that are much more than behavioral commands. This is the general nature of goals. It is the responsibility of the believer to be conformed to the image of Christ (1 Pet 4:10-11). Ultimately, the believer’s goal is to glorify God in all things (1 Cor 10:31; 2 Cor 5:9; Col 1:10). Also the commanding of righteous attitudes can be described as being much more than just behavioral commands. God’s will for the lives of Christians is to put off lust and to put on love (Mark 12:28-31; Rom 14:13-19; 1 Cor 13:1-3); put off independence and put on reliance (Prov 3:5-6; Gal 5:16); put off pride and put on humility (Jas 4:6; Phil 2:5-8); and the like. And finally God’s moral will governs the means Christians use to accomplish their goals. In order for a Christian to make a biblical decision concerning the will of God, the decision must be lawful (Eph 5:1-14) - not outside of the revealed moral will of God; and the decision must be wise - a decision that could be characterized as foolish (Eph 5:15-17).

A helpful critique of the subjective approach to biblical decision-making can be found in The Will of God as a Way of Life by Gerald L. Sittser. Sittser rightly critiques the subjective method by revealing that this approach focuses our attention on important decisions concerning the future and not on unimportant decisions we make everyday. Second, the subjective approach betrays a false and negative view of God. Thirdly, the subjective method’s preoccupation with what lies ahead betrays a desire to control a future that simply cannot be controlled. Concerning the correct interpretation of the Bible, Sittser’s view echos that of Friesen when he mentions,

...the Bible says very little about the will of God as a future pathway that we must discover and then follow. Instead, the Bible warns us about anxiety and presumption concerning the future, assures us that God is in control, and commands us to do the will of God we already know in the present.

This is the view that the author of this paper holds. If Christians want to truly know the will of God, then read and study the Scriptures. The Bible says that God has given us everything that we need to live a life of godliness through the knowledge of Christ (2 Pet 1:3). Also, it is the last days and God has spoken to us through the ministry of His son, Jesus (Heb 1:1-2). With this in mind, there is no need for any further revelations, visions, or dreams in order to follow God’s will. Even the book of Revelation ends with a warning concerning the adding to or taking away from the Scriptures (Rev 22:18-19).

What about a pastor’s call to the ministry? What does the Extrinsic literature say concerning God’s call? As stated before, God is sovereign and nothing can thwart his ways and purposes (Job 42:2; Ps 135:6; Prov 16:9; 19:21; 21:30). If the Lord wills a person to partake in any vocational role, whether secular or church-related, then it will come to pass. If God’s decretive will is something that has been decreed since eternity past, then no one can be outside of this will. However, there is normally much confusion on the subjective matter of this topic instead of the objective. Some of the confusion comes from a romanticized view of the call stemming back as far as the middle ages. In his book, Guard Us, Guide Us: Divine Leading in Life’s Decisions, J.I. Packer writes,

...the idea that they set you in a higher plane spiritually is a new form of the medieval superstition that God sees the professionally religious as a cut above everyone else. And the idea that you would need a special sign from God, over and above interest, aptitude, and the estimate of your fitness by others, to warrant your committing yourself to serve in one of these fields, or in any other employment for that matter, is superstition too.

What does a person’s vocational call feel like? The Scriptures answer that godly desires are placed within the heart. This is what the Bible teaches. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Proverbs 16:3 exhorts to “commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” According to the Scriptures, if God’s children are delighting in him, then He will give them their desires. In other words, their desires will be God’s desires.

This is what it means to biblically discern the will of God. The confusion lies over the coming to pass of future events and the Bible does not teach that His children should stress over this fact. Therefore, truly and genuinely following God’s will is being obedient to his revealed will which God has so graciously given to His children in the form of His commands and ethical demands.

Knowing and Doing the Will of God - Part V: Intrinsic Literature

In this next section, it will be of the upmost importance to thoughtfully interact with what others are teaching or have taught concerning the biblical doctrine of guidance. As this paper interacts with these sources, it is helpful to divide them up into two categories. According Dr. Stuart Scott in his dissertation entitled A Study of Decision Making God’s Way, Scott divides this literature into three categories: Intrinsic, Extrinsic, and Eclectic literature. However, due to constraints, this paper will only look at the Intrinsic and Extrinsic literature.

Concerning the will of God, Intrinsic literature views God’s will as being found not only in Scripture, but by other subjective means such as feelings, dreams, visions, or prophetic voices.Extrinsic literature views God’s will as objectively being His revealed will given to His children in the written form of the Scriptures.

Intrinsic Literature

In the book, Discovering God’s Will For Your Life by Ray Pritchard, Pritchard gives numerous examples of subjectively determining the will of God. Pritchard’s book is a revision of his previous work The Road Best Traveled and he gives an example of his subjective interpretation of God’s will. He describes how God’s leading comes,

...through the advice of good Christian friends. Sometimes through prayer. Sometimes by listening to a sermon. Sometimes by an inner conviction that God has spoken to us. Sometimes by a deep sense of inner peace. Sometimes God will guide us through a particular passage of Scripture. Sometimes all of the circumstances of life clearly point in one direction. Sometimes he “speaks” to us. Sometimes he guides us by his silence. Very often it is a combination of all of these things put together.

The ground on which Pritchard is standing is proverbially “shaky.” Throughout his book, he never gives any definitive evidence of what God “speaking” truly looks like in the Christian life. He gives special examples about how the Lord has “moved” and “led” in his life, but they are subjective and are open to interpretation.

However, there is no way to determine or even objectively study what it means to be “moved” by the Lord. Even Pritchard is inconsistent in his own view when he recollects driving down an old country road. He said that he “heard a voice say,” and then, as if it were nothing, mentions “...(well, it seemed like I heard a voice - maybe it was just my mind talking to me, trying to get my attention).” So what does it mean to “feel led” or to “feel God speaking” to you? Is it possible to hear from God? Can God speak to us outside of the Scriptures in dreams or visions? According to Pritchard, the answer is yes.

In Richard and Henry Blackaby’s book, Hearing God’s Voice, the “voice” of God can still be heard. Instead of God giving His people a new revelation concerning himself, He speaks to give application of His word to the specific circumstances of life. The only way to hear God clearly is to seek God’s heart. God’s purpose of speaking to his children is to reveal His character, purposes, and ways. With these three purposes in mind, the Blackabys give biblical examples from the Old and New Testaments attempting to prove that God not only related to His people in the past, but also still guides and speaks to his people today.

Concerning one’s experience, the Blackabys remind their readers that to say “I’ve never heard God speak specifically to me that way” does not negate the fact that God does speak that way.They also mention that our “experience cannot be the measure by which we understand Scripture. Scripture must be the standard by which we evaluate our experience.” This should really concern the reader at this point. Do the Blackabys not use their experience as the measure by which they understand the Scriptures? The answer would be a resounding yes! As you read their book, the Blackabys misinterpret biblical examples and the Scriptures in order to make their point. What they council their readers to not do, is in fact the very same thing that they are doing in order to discern the voice of God. As a matter of fact, their examples are actually an argument from silence. This means that their biblical examples neither prove nor disprove the correct way to discern the voice of God.

How about one’s call to the ministry or vocation? What does intrinsic literature say about one’s own calling? In Criswell’s Guidebook for Pastors, Criswell mentions that the pastorate is not so much a profession as it is a calling. According to the book The New Guidebook for Pastors, James W. Bryant and Mac Brunson view the call to preach as the most singularly unique appointment in life. The call is an indescribable joy and burden that is described as the touch of His hand on a person’s life. Bryant and Brunson’s advice is that if you are in the ministry and do not have a clear, unquestionable sense of God’s call, then “leave the ministry immediately.”

Bryant and Brunson also mention that there may come a time for people to answer the call of God as a means of “catch-up.” Bryant and Brunson encourage their readers that if “...God called you earlier in life to be a preacher and you did not answer, volunteer like Isaiah and see if God still wants you. He probably does.” Again, this is shocking. These authors tiptoe on the line that a person can be out of the decretive will of God. Echoing this same theme, the Blackabys describe that some of the most miserable people are those that have spent their lifetime rejecting the call of God. Is this how we are to view our calling? Can God call and His children not answer? The author of this paper believes that Bryant, Brunson, and the Blackabys are incorrect in their interpretation of God’s calling. If we are to have a right view of God’s sovereignty, then no one can be out of God’s will.

An interesting fact that seems to be inherent to these authors is that God’s “voice” and “call” are open to interpretation as well as being wed to experience and circumstances. There is never a clearly defined “voice” or “call.” Since there is no definitive evidence of what this “voice” sounds like or how it can be measured, it is best to learn the will of God by relying on the objective authority of the Scriptures.

Knowing and Doing the Will of God - Part V: The Critical Approach